First Eclipse by Iridescent Starlight

Summer Love by BayBay

Title
Summer Love

Author
BayBay

Source
Wattpad

Overall Rating








Spelling
6/10
Four errors.

Plot Development
5/10
So what's going on here?

Originality
5/10
An overused plot

Grammar
8/10
Capitalize your I's!

Character Development
9/10
I got to know the characters fairly well.


Hooking (grabbing the reader)
8/10
The first line drew me in, but not because it was in all caps.


Verb Tenses
6/10
I yelled
I have


Overall Rating
7/10
Good. . .but the plot is overused and it needs to be edited.

Comments

• Please, just don't use caps. It hurts everyone's eyes and is just a no-no in writing.

• The story feels too rushed, but you can slooowww it down by using more descriptions.

• Here is an excerpt from a line from the story:: 'went down to the kitchen to fix me some breakfast' What the heck was up with that?! Fix me some breakfast. REALLY? Change it.

• I know she likes him, and I know that she blushes a lot when she's around him, so stop repeating that.

• There needs to be more description, I want to be able to be in the room with her!